The Voice for Insightful Leadership with Shelley Row, P.E.

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Teresa wanted to see the big picture strategy before discussing specifics. Tom wanted general ideas with time to think before deciding. Paul wanted to give orders that were followed to the “T”.

To be successful, each of these bosses blog 100919required a unique approach. The approach that worked for one wouldn’t stand a chance with another. You can save time and frustration by giving serious consideration to the approach, topics and personal agendas of your boss. Here are five areas to study about your boss so that you can be more effective in your job. Let’s face it, a happy boss makes for happier days at work!

Communication style. Save yourself time and headaches by studying your boss’s communication style in advance and adapting your approach.

Their communication styles couldn’t have been more different. Teresa expected me to lay out the big picture, have a clear strategy and logical recommendations for next steps. I learned to be thoughtful, prepared and develop my recommended action plan. And it worked…with her. When I changed jobs, I used this same approach with Tom. It was a miserable failure. After a few flops, I learned the hard way, that he was a tactician who looked no farther than the next move and he needed time to think about each step. He needed to come up with the answer – not me. I learned to present general ideas, brainstorm briefly and walk out the door. In a day or two, he’d come back with his own thoughts about the situation and we’d move forward.

What’s your boss’s communication style:

StrategicTactical
Big picture thinkerWants all the details
Visual learnerAuditory learner
Wants the storyWants the data
Gets down to businessChats first
Quick decision-makerNeeds to ponder
Goal-focusedRelationship-focused

Power position. Your boss’s power position will be a motivator in his behavior and decision-making.

Mariana was a hard-charging Gen Xer intent on making a name for herself. She took uncommon risks on projects that, if successful, would garner attention within the organization and industry. John saw a succession of managers get fired from the position he now held. Not wishing to follow their lead, he was super-duper conservative in his decision-making. He kept a low profile, backed no risky projects, and shied away from controversy. He opted to stay in the middle of the road and to not rock the boat (to mix land and sea metaphors).

What’s your boss’s power position?

RetiringAspiring
On the way upOn the way out
Well-connected internallyIsolated internally
Risk tolerantRisk averse
Promoting him/herselfPromoting the organization
Political aspirationsNo political aspirations
Well-connected externallyIsolated externally

Personal interests. Every boss has personal interests or pet projects. These are areas that hold special passion and where they want to make an impact. It’s helpful to know their area of interest and why it’s an area of interest. Their “why” can range from an intellectual interest to a personal passion based on a traumatic event in their life (such as the death of a friend due to drunk driving).

Patti cared about motorcycles in transportation policy and safety. Jose cared about cyclists. In both cases, we always had a project of some sort that included motorcycles and/or cyclists. Felicia wanted to leave a legacy of safety advancements.

What are your boss’s personal interest areas and why?

Intellectual interestPersonal interest
Mild interestAvid interest
Focused on leaving a legacy in this areaNice to make an impact if feasible
Interest area is central to your missionInterest area is tangential to the mission
Easy to accommodate their interestIt’s a stretch to accommodate their interest

Personalities and background. Your boss’s background can provide clues to working effectively with her.

Mike was a southerner who came from a military background. Consequently, he was the epitome of a southern gentleman who valued respect, protocol and manners. Always soft-spoken and polite, he expected a calm, courteous exchange with gracious acceptance of his final decision. Yvonne was young and proud of her accomplishments. She was successful because she was well-connected. She knew everyone who mattered. In briefings, she wanted to know who would “win” and who would “lose” because of her decision. She needed to understand the political connections within and outside the organization.

What do you know about your boss’s personal history and career background? What experiences will have colored her perspective and how?

Rural upbringingUrban upbringing
Raised in the United StatesRaised outside the United States
Large familyOnly child
Prestigious educational backgroundOther educational background
Work experience in the private sectorWork experience in the public sector
Work experience in associationsWork experience in academia
Extensive leadership experienceLimited leadership experience

Their Headaches and frustrations. What keeps your boss up at night? What are her daily headaches? What phone call does he dread and who is it from?

Bill was the executive director of a professional association. Effective and efficient, his day went downhill when his Board Chair called to discuss “an issue.” To support him, we had to consider the Board’s reception to each topic in advance so that Bill didn’t get “the call.”

Joanne just wanted to stay under the radar – nothing controversial, nothing high profile – just let her do her work quietly without fanfare. She dreaded a call from anyone “up the chain.” She cringed when she was asked a tough question in a senior staff meeting. The trick to working with Joanne was to ensure that all potentially sticky issues were resolved before she engaged. We went forward only with projects where the wrinkles had been ironed out in advance.

John wanted it his way and he didn’t like anyone who got in his way. He didn’t want someone telling him that he couldn’t move forward as planned. He didn’t want to hear about roadblocks or setbacks. Our job was to demolish the roadblocks and find ways to achieve his goals no matter what.

How dialed in are you to your boss’s worries and concerns?

Issues with problematic staffIssues with a tough boss
Problems with internal stakeholdersProblems with external stakeholders
Financial concernsProcess concerns
Lacks trust from othersFeels like an outsider
Struggling to change the cultureStruggling to fit into the culture
Customer complaintsStaff complaints
Dropping salesStaff attrition
Technology disruptionManaging change

Assess your boss using these five areas. See if you can walk away with a deeper understanding of what makes her tick. Now, use that information to adapt your briefing style, the way you approach them for decisions, and the type of interaction you have with them. The more you can work from their perspective, the more effective you are likely to be and with the least amount of stress and frustration. Try it and let me know how it goes!

Can You See Your Humps? Your Strengths and Communication Styles? Keep Reading To Learn Here.

How do you behave at work? What work style and communication traits are associated with you? There’s an African proverb, “The camel never sees its own humps, but that of its brother is always before its eyes.” Others see your style. Do you?

Over the years, I’ve found that technically skilled people (like me – an engineer) do not often have an innate ability to be self-observant. We’re like the camel. We see the humps of those around us but not our own. As a manager, you need to know your work and communication style. Thankfully, there are tools like DNA Behavior, DISC, Strengthfinders, Enneagrams, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator that provide insights into your behavior. If you don’t naturally observe your behavior, these tools can be particularly helpful. Even if you are self-observant, these tools still offer aha-moments about yourself.

Today, let’s examine your strength and communication style.

Strengths.

What’s your go-to strength? Your strengths come naturally to you. So naturally, in fact, that you may not even notice them. When I work with coaching clients, we do exercises to identify strengths and I frequently hear, “Wow. I didn’t know that was a strength! I thought everybody could do that.” Your strength is hiding in plain sight, but it’s hiding. Let’s find it.

Pretend that you are faced with a difficult work problem. It’s a dilemma. How do you approach it? When you get stuck, on which behavior do you consistently fall back? For example, when I’m perplexed by a problem I think, “Okay. Let’s take a step back and see the big picture. What’s the goal and the steps to reach the goal?” My ability to see the big picture and dissect the problem into core elements for action is a key strength for me. I thought everyone could do this but I was wrong. It’s my superpower. What’s yours?

What do you do when the going gets tough?  Do you:

  • Dive into the research
  • Gather all the details
  • Collaborate so that all are engaged
  • Start with the big picture
  • Create a step-by-step process
  • Seek to know the people involved
  • Network
  • Consider the personalities
  • Assess the office politics
  • Look for trends

Your natural approach to a tough situation likely reveals clues to a key strength. What is it for you?

Advanced consideration: Overused strengths.

For those of you who want more advanced consideration, take your strength to the next level. You should feel good knowing your strength as it is always available to you. That’s good news. However, you probably heard the saying, “If you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” That’s the case with your strength. You will try to use it ALL THE TIME whether it fits or not. As I mentioned, my strength is being goal driven…every day. That’s been a formula for success most of the time but not all the time. I learned a hard lesson when a staff person came to me in tears thinking that I didn’t like her because I never spoke to her. I never spoke because I was wrapped up in prioritizing goals in my head each morning as I walked past her desk. I over-used my strength.

What about you? Are you a great collaborator but collaborate so much that you miss opportunities? Are you exceptional at managing office politics to the point that you can’t be candid? Are you skilled at gathering and analyzing data to the point of analysis paralysis?  Where have you over-used your strength?

Communication styles.

Your communication style is another “hump” or trait that is on display every day. What is your natural communication style? Here again, assessment tools (DNA Behavior and DISC, for example) give clues to your communication styles. Without self-awareness, you are likely to use this style whether it suits the situation or not because your natural style is the easiest for your brain to enact. In order to manage your approach, you first must be aware of it.   Consider a time when you were under pressure. How did you communicate to others or what type of communication worked best for you?

Are you:

  • Quick or cautious
  • Direct and candid or tactful and polite
  • Drawing visuals or writing words
  • Collaborative or in control
  • Quick to get to the point or prefer to chat first
  • Conceptual or data-driven
  • Considered or hasty
  • Speaking your mind or holding your tongue
  • Intense or restrained

Advanced consideration: Your communication style from other perspectives

You’ve considered your communication style but how does that style come across to peers and staff? They experience your communication style every day. It may not be what you think.

You think you’re being succinct, and they see it as brusque.  You think you’re being flexible, and they see it as wishy-washy. This is where 360 tools can bring compelling insight. Consider your last interaction. How would you describe your communication style? Now consider it from other’s perspective. How might they have perceived it differently? Is there someone you trust with whom you can ask – “How did that conversation come across?”

By examining your strengths and communication styles you move past the proverbial camel. You have a sense of your “humps” and that makes all the difference.

If you see the power in knowing yourself, you may be interested in my Mini-Coaching Program.  It uses a simplified self-assessment tool followed by an individual session with me. Clients walk away with a surprising amount of information about their strengths and communication style. As one client said, “The results…opened up new ways to see myself and position myself for future positions. The bottom-line impact is greater confidence and that’s critical.”

Click here to Contact Shelley for more information

Whether your technical expertise is in engineering (like mine), law, finance, technology or science, we technical folks don’t have good reputations as managers.  When a technically accomplished person is promoted into management, suddenly the old skills that made us successful are not as relevant. It’s a whole new ball game and a whole new set of skills. As we always said: Technical skills are the easy part. People skills are the hard part.

 

Technically-talented managers can become perplexed by people issues, stymied by office politics and mystified by seemingly illogical decisions made by “management”. You don’t have to be perplexed, stymied or mystified if you have all the information you need.

Here are 10 thinks that every technical person should know when they become a manager and leader.

  1. Know your staff
  2. Know you
  3. Know your boss
  4. Know the influencers
  5. Know the factors other than the data that are influencing organizational trajectory
  6. Know the person who can get things done in the office
  7. Know a broad range of information sources
  8. Know how to challenge your initial impressions
  9. Know your vision for the organization
  10. Know your leadership philosophy

To further develop your knowledge in these ten areas, click here, to receive questions to prompt your learning.

Contact Shelley Row to assist you and your staff to grow your skills as an insightful leader.

 

Do you worry about leaving town for vacation? Maybe you are concerned that things may not go smoothly while you’re gone. Or maybe the volume of email to which you’ll return feels over-whelming. Or maybe you feel that the customer may not wait, and you’ll lose business. I understand all those concerns. They were mine, too. But, guess what. I did it.

I took a two-week vacation (to Tibet with the Ra Ma Institute and traveled with my step-daughter, Linnea Miron, who is the CEO of Real Wellness); never touched my computer; didn’t respond to emails and (drum roll) the sky didn’t fall. It is possible to be out-of-touch and the world won’t come crashing down. It takes preparation.

Here are the four steps I took to prepare so that I had the space to relax and benefit from the trip.

1. Touched base with clients in advance. For any client who had a pending action item or an action that may be needed while I was gone, I contacted them in advance. I explained that I would be in Tibet with iffy wifi and cell coverage. No one panicked, most were pleased that I let them know and all were happy for me.

2. Completed activities in advance. I made an effort to complete tasks in advance that would be due while I was gone. For those items I was not able to complete, we scheduled meetings after I returned to discuss progress, schedule and due dates. Everything was easily worked out.

3. Staff monitored and responded to emails. My staff monitored my emails for any unanticipated issues or for client questions (from current or prospective clients). When appropriate, they let the client know that I was out of the country. If they couldn’t help directly, they worked with the person to schedule a call when I returned. Everyone felt that we were responsive to their requests.

4. Cleaned out the junk emails. This one is tricky. I opted to periodically delete junk emails when I had accessible wifi. I chose this so I wasn’t overwhelmed by the shear number of emails. There is something heart-stopping to see hundreds of emails stacked up after a two-week trip. The trick, of course, is to not get sucked into work. It was effective for me because I scanned email subject lines and the sender. I didn’t open or read anything. It was obvious when emails were junk and were safely deleted. When I returned, there was a manageable number of emails that needed “real” consideration and response.

These four steps worked for me. The preparation was not to be taken lightly. The weeks leading up to my trip were busy, but the payoff was high. (More about that in the next newsletter.) There were many other professional men and women on the trip. All the ones I spoke to did some combination of these techniques so that they, too, had the mental and emotional space to absorb the wonders of the Tibet.

What can you do to prepare so that you reap the full benefits of creative down time?

 

Learn to take back control of your decision-making!

You strive to make data-driven decisions, but too much data can result in analysis paralysis. Plus, in this fast-paced and complex environment, data from the past may not foretell the future. Our interviews with 77 executives show that, to get ahead, today’s leaders need a sophisticated decision-making approach that skillfully balances hardline analytics with gut feel. These leaders see beyond the data.

18575374 - concept of stress with businessman sleeping on a laptop

When you over-think, your tendency is to search for even more data. We think that there is one magical piece of information that will make an ambiguous situation clear. There is no magical piece of information. Rather than seeking more data, you must, counter-intuitively, listen to the nagging voice in your head. That nagging voice is pointing to the problem.

Think about a tough decision that caused you to over-think. If you had been comfortable, you would have made the decision. Something makes you uncomfortable. What is that something that shows up as a nagging feeling? There’s data to be found there, if you know how to unlock it.

Here’s how one leader described it: “It’s like there’s something inside of me that just not sitting right. It’s just agitating.”

To stop over-thinking, you must learn to leverage the intelligence embedded inside gut feel to integrate information with intuition for astute action. You must get under the hood to find out what’s really going on that keeps your decision-making stuck. The nagging feeling may come from a struggle with your values, a reaction to a person, a conflict with your work style. Whatever it is, it’s taken control of your decision-making.

Unless you get under the hood and resolve these real issues, you leave valuable data on the table. It’s just data of a different sort. Learn to use this internal data to improve your decision-making and enhance daily interactions with staff, clients and colleagues.

One leader put it this way: “The intuitive people, I think will excel fester in a leadership position because of the uncertainty they have to make decisions. If you’re a facts-based person, you will get analysis paralysis because you will never feel comfortable with making a decision with a very small amount of information or data.”

If you want to stop over-thinking once and for all, let us show you how to take the mystery out of gut feel, strip away the touchy feely and replace it with practical techniques. The best part?  This real-world program is based in science. It’s not some woo-woo, hocus-pocus program. It’s hard-hitting, practical and insightful so that you and your staff take back control over your decision-making.  It might just be your secret weapon to no-nonsense productivity gains.

Contact Shelley Row Associates now to learn more about their programs and consulting services that can be your competitive edge.

Click here to contact Shelley for more information on how to enhance decision-making for you or your staff through consulting, workshops, keynotes or breakouts. Or email Shelley directly at shelley@shelleyrow.com.

We were fortunate enough to have Shelley Row speak at the Maryland Bankers Association’s Council of Professional Women in Banking and Finance Sixth Annual Conference on the topic of Go with your Gut:  Effective Decision-Making in an Over-Thinking World.  The energy she brought to close to 300 attendees was very engaging and inspiring in motivating our audience in learning how to tap into their “infotuition” – think, feel, and act – for more effective decision-making. – Cindy G.

Shelley’s honesty in telling her own story about how she learned to stop being an over thinker and start using her gut to assess people and situations help her to make the right decisions, was refreshingly insightful. Her natural ability to engage audiences was not lost on our members as they learned new tactics they can now apply to make confident and meaningful decisions in both their professional and personal lives. Infotuition is now part of our everyday thinking and vocabulary thanks to Shelley. – Annemarie R.

The presentation was riveting in many ways that you can deal with common behavior issues in your workplace. – Stephen W

This program will literally help you train your brain to adapt and adjust to situations and make decisions.- Sandra F.

Shelley presentation provides key tools to understanding your leadership style and how to build upon it within your organization. – Christopher M.

Why doesn’t your Employee Development Program work?

Do you have:

  • Out-spoken staff with good ideas who alienate others?
  • Staff who don’t speak up because they want to avoid conflict?
  • Hastily-sent, sharply-worded emails that leave those on the receiving end seething?
  • People with differing styles who can’t see eye-to-eye?

Of course you do! Every work place has these situations and they waste time, stress staff and cost productivity. What are you doing about it? And, will what you’re doing last? Make your Employee Development Program work for your employees and you.

Consider your car. You wash and wax it so that the exterior is shiny and glossy. It looks great from the outside, but the carburetor doesn’t work. If the carburetor doesn’t work, neither does the car. The only way forward is to get under the hood and fix the real problem.

Your Employee Development Program is the same. You realize there are performance, communication, and/or management issues. You bring in a trainer or a consultant to address the problem, and for a short time, the situation is better. Soon, however, everyone slips back into the same old patterns. A one-time intervention that addresses only the surface issues is like washing and waxing your car. It looks good in the short term but doesn’t get at the root cause. To do that, you must get under the hood, understand “what’s really going on,” and develop skills to manage the behaviors. And, like your car, you need a maintenance program that regularly monitors the old and new behaviors.

Most staff development programs deal with surface behaviors and don’t develop an understanding of the “real” issue. These programs feel good initially, but they don’t result in lasting change. In my experience working in and with organizations, lasting change requires these three criteria:

  1. Top leadership support.
  2. Get to the problem source.
  3. Provides support over time.

Leadership support. In my experience, there is no substitute for active support and engagement of top leadership. Lasting change requires lasting commitment that extends past the initial enthusiasm. The tone at the top matters. If the leader is half-hearted about organizational advancement, so too will be the staff. A lukewarm response from leadership is worse than no response. Once leadership support fizzles, the staff are left thinking, “It’s just a bunch of words. They never meant it anyway.” This is the breeding ground for cynicism.

Get to the problem source. Too many professional development programs seek to address complex issues of personality and behavior with superficial approaches. The more meaningful and long-lasting strategy getting dirty under the hood. Using neuroscience and specific types of self-assessments, we help each staff member understand the science behind their behavior preferences. They have the opportunity to sort out why some people bug them, and others don’t. That understanding opens new, more productive choices and promotes deeper understanding between co-workers. The result is better collaboration with more constructive and lasting behavior change.

Provide support over time. When it comes to professional development, one and done doesn’t cut it. The fact is, the human brain rarely retains and uses new information that it hears only once. Repetition and intentional application begin true behavior change. And I do mean…begin. It takes concerted effort over time to create new behaviors. That’s why the leader needs to be in it for the long haul. That said, providing support over time doesn’t have to be time consuming, expensive or exhausting. You want a drum beat of reminders for the staff. This can come through emails, video clips, webinars as well as repeated sessions for staff. Constant, relentless reminders embed new thought patterns and behaviors. These reminders over time may be the best money you spend because without long-term support, you wasted your time and money on a one-and-done program.

If you want a professional development program for your staff that makes a difference and provides a solid return-on-investment, be prepared to provide leadership support, select a program that “gets under the hood,” and invest over time. The payoff will be meaningful behavior change, easier communication and an ability to get the job done right the first time and in less time. Isn’t that worth it?

Contact Shelley now to find out what’s really going on with your staff!!

It’s a position that seems perfect for you. You made it to the interview and now it is your big moment. There’s a lot at stake. Not only do you want to make a good first impression, you want to be memorable for the qualities that matter.

But are you ready?

Yes, you brushed up your resume and you researched the organization. But did you take the time to get clarity on the key points they should remember about you? Can you succinctly and clearly articulate the main message about you?

When preparing for an interview, I recommend creating your brand statement. This is a personal summary of who you are, your skills, and attributes you bring. You must get clear, be succinct and land the message.


Tip #1) Have a brand statement. It is essential that you know your personal brand and have a brand statement. Your brand statement concisely defines your skills and the value system you bring to work (dependable, professional, responsible, creative). When I work with clients to create their brand statement, we use a self-assessment tool and value system exercise, but you can do the same if you are honest with yourself about your skills and principles. Here is a framework for your use.

  • I am [your background] who [statement about a core strength].
  • I provide [three to four key points about your strengths].
  • I bring [statement about your values or how you do your job].

Here are two examples of real brand statements:

Ex.1)

I am a successful executive who loves a challenge.

I provide:

  • Big picture clarity,
  • Well-organized action and
  • Polished presentation

I bring professionalism, integrity, politeness and self-awareness to my work.

Ex.2)

I am an outgoing CPA who is focused on collaboration and team work to tackle tough accounting issues.

I provide:

  • Translation between highly technical tax regulation and business operations,
  • Collaboration with key business personnel,
  • Articulate summaries of tax challenges and issues, and
  • Practical business minded solutions that save time and money.

I bring integrity, courtesy, credibility and helpfulness to my work.


NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

Are you able to write your brand statement?  You want this ready before you walk into an interview.


Tip #2) Use examples. Most interviewees talk in broad generalizations, but generalizations are fuzzy and forgettable. If you state, “I’m well organized,” follow it with a specific, concise example where you used organizational skills to produce a key product. Examples make it easier to understand the value of the skill in a practical, real-world situation. Plus, examples are essentially short stories. Stories stick in the brain more easily than generalizations. Have a short example for each point in your brand statement under the “I provide…” section.


Tip #3) Land your message. Most interviewees ramble. The interviewer easily gets lost in the onslaught of words and may struggle to catch the key points, much less remember them. Make it easy for the interviewer. Emphasize examples of the main messages in your brand statement throughout the interview. instead of ending with pleasantries, end the interview with a short, strong summary of your brand statement and tie it specifically to this position. Make it clear why you are THE choice for the job. Ending with your brand statement ensures that you manage the last impression and that you leave them with the main points about you.

 

Bring insight to your interviewing skills by defining your brand statement, using real-life examples and landing your message. You will stand out from the crowd….for sure!

Data-driven decision-making. Data analytics. Data mining. Data sounds so logical, rational and objective. But is it? Don’t misunderstand, as an engineer, I love data! And, as a leader, I learned that data alone is not enough. Even data is subject to confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is the tendency of the brain to latch onto information that is in alignment with its expectations. Let me share an example.

I grSee Beyond the Data PPTew up in Smithville, Texas, a small ranching town in central Texas. My dad was the school band director for all kids from the 5th through 12th grades. Consequently, my sister and I grew up with music in the house. We sat in our yellow bean bag chair and watched PBS as he pointed out oboes, violas, tympani and bassoons. Fast-forward to my college years. I was home for the summer hanging out with friends at the barbeque cookoff. We stood outside the VFW hall under the live oak trees. In a cloud of dust, my little sister, Alison, stormed over dragging her friend, Jim, along. She positioned Jim in front of me and announced that I had to resolve their bet. As I stared at Jim in his boots, jeans, belt with the big belt buckle, tee-shirt and camo ball cap, Alison asked, “What does his ball cap say?” Printed across the camo background was Bass Tournament. Without hesitation I said, “Bass (as in an upright stringed bass) Tournament.” This was, of course, the correct answer as far as she was concerned, and she cheered my answer as she apparently won the bet.

Now…let’s rewind and consider the “data.” As charming as Smithville is, it is a small farming/ranching town of 3,000. There were not any string bass players. A camo ball cap isn’t what I imagine most bass players wearing. Finally, I remember stumbling over the word, “tournament.” I played in concerts and auditions but never a “tournament.” Despite all evidence to the contrary, my brain assembled the data and still came up with the type of “bass” I expected in my world. That’s confirmation bias.

You do the same with data every day. Even with data analytics, your brain sees what it wants to see, and it gives more credence to data that is in alignment with its expectations. It’s not a weakness, it’s inherent in the design of your brain. Knowing this, what’s an insightful leader to do? They ask insightful questions to see beyond the data lake.
Here are a few example questions that may prompt you to consider the insightful questions you can ask. These questions will push you past confirmation bias and aid you in recognizing your tendency to skew data to meet your expectations.

• Am I seeing only the data I want to see? Your natural tendency is to notice and give more weight to data that you expect, more so than unusual data.
• Is there other data that shows a different perspective? You may need a different analysis of the data, request data from a different source, or simply shift your perspective to force a new interpretation of the data.
• Does backward-looking data support forward-looking questions? If your industry or organization is in a period of change, historic data is just that – historic. Will historic data support decisions for a future that is fundamentally different?
• What trends are showing up at the fringe of the data? Emerging ideas and trends don’t show up in the middle of the bell curve, they happen gradually at the fringe of the data.

These trends emerge as the outliers, the slow drift in data, or the feel that something is shifting.

Don’t allow confirmation bias to rob you of the insight that data provides. What insightful questions can you ask that pushes you to see beyond the surface level of the data? It could make all the difference in your decision-making.

Is your life hectic? It seems that everyone I talk with laments their frenzied life. Have you ever considered that your customer or client is also frenzied? You can add to their frenzy with uncertainty or create an oasis of calm certainty through proactive communication. Proactive communication is a simple technique that will set you apart because of the calming response of the customer’s brain to certainty.

Before we examine further, understand that uncertainty activates a threat response in the brain. Certainty activates a reward response in the brain. If your customer is stressed, that reward response will feel like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise hectic day. They will remember that good feeling. Wouldn’t it be nice for you to be the source of that feeling for your client? That’s why you want to master proactive communication.

Proactive communication is simply providing useful information to your client in advance of their needing it. Proactive communication gives them certainty about a meeting, a delivery, a job, a deliverable or whatever it is that you provide to them.  Take Krissia, for example.

My life is particularly hectic and stressful right now. I plan to sell the house my late husband and I shared for 17 years (he bought this house in 1981). Preparing the house to be on the market has been both stressful and emotional. It feels like a sea of uncertainty and I don’t need more.

To prep the house for the market, I’m having it deep cleaned. The first person I contacted agreed to the cleaning date and scheduled a time to stop by to assess the house.  She didn’t show or call. Talk about uncertainty.  That’s when Krissia was recommended. After looking at the house, we scheduled the cleaning day. Before I had a chance to worry if she still planned to show up, I received a text from her confirming the date, the arrival time of her crew and the duration of the work. She was ON IT. Yes, it’s simply good customer service but, it feels like more than that. I never felt a flicker of uncertainty. My brain never went into threat response. Her simple and short text was proactive communication that gave me certainty. The same happened with Oscar whose crew cleaned the yard and with Chuck whose company washed the windows. Each proactively communicated with me so I never worried.

It seems so simple and yet…it’s not. I see companies all the time who add to the client’s stress by creating uncertainty.

How well do you and your organization provide proactive communication?

  • Do you confirm meetings in advance (with the location, agenda and objective)?
  • Do you confirm your arrival time for a lunch meeting?
  • Do you confirm the delivery date for the report you’re writing?
  • Do you provide progress reports? (Once upon a time, I worked for a demanding boss who constantly phoned and emailed for project information. We began providing him a short email every Friday with the status of all the projects of interest to him. We gave him certainty. The calls and emails stopped.)
  • Do you confirm order delivery for products or services you provide?
  • Do you confirm late delivery of the order, report, or service? Proactive communication is even more essential when it’s bad news. The customer may not like the news, but your proactive communication demonstrates that you are on top of the situation, that you are monitoring status and that you are interested enough to let them know. All of that is certainty.

Whether Krissia, Oscar or Chuck, none of them knew my world was spinning wildly out of control. In the midst of my whirlwind, their simple proactive communication provided certainty. Certainty activated my reward circuit and provided calm. And I will buy calm from them again. That’s what proactive communication does.

What does proactive communication look like in your organization and how well are you providing it? It could be the very thing to your client needs to feel certain that they like working with you.

I admit up front that I’m not good at recognizing the nuances of people. That’s why I want to share this tip with you. It helps me and it’s likely to be valuable to you, too.

My step-daughter, Linnea Miron, is the CEO of Real Wellness.  She and I talked about the challenges of truly understanding people – whether staff, clients, or partners – so that we more effectively work together. But the brain is designed to see the world from our perspective. It takes effort and energy to consider another’s viewpoint. She shared that her husband, Ricky Williams, when working with a client, uses a simple technique to coax his brain to shift perspective. With each person, he asks himself, “Who’s here?”

Think about the simple power in that question. Try it yourself. With each person you work with, divide “Who’s here?” into four parts.

    1. What do you know about their life at this moment? This question helps you become more resonate with and sensitive to the factors influencing their thinking and behavior. For example, tomorrow I’ll see my friend, Page, for the first time since she visited her son at college. Their visit is likely to have left her heart full. That’s a good place to start. Maybe the person you talk with has recently changed jobs, has a new (awful) boss, gotten a promotion, was out with a sick baby, is leading a high-profile project, has a daughter leaving for college, just lost her beloved pet. Take a moment to ask yourself, “Who’s here and what’s happening in his life right now.” It shows your interest and creates connection which generates trust.
    2. What do you know about their personality? This is a key question that, when brought into your consciousness pays off in a big way. Think about it. What do you know about his communication style? Her work styles or nature? Maybe he is a big picture thinker, or maybe he loves knowing the details. Maybe she has a healthy ego or struggles with self-esteem. Maybe he takes pride in his work, is highly sensitive, is the life-of-the-party, is practical, or is a deep thinker. The list goes on. Here’s the dilemma, your brain wants him or her to be like YOU! But they aren’t. The more you appreciate who’s really here, the more you are likely to adapt your style and align the jobs with their skills.
    3. What do you know about their interests? This one may be easier for you. What are his hobbies? How does she spend her time? Perhaps he has a New England Patriots poster in his office, or a photo of a sailboat. Is there a Food and Wine magazine in her bag? Knowing something about her interests can provide a foothold for an easy conversation starter. Who’s here and what does he enjoy?
    4. What do you know about their background? The more you know about a person’s background the better you understand the filters through which she sees the world. Awareness of background influences provides insight into reactions, interpretations and pre-conceived ideas. For example, growing up in a small Texas town surrounded by farms, I struggle to understand the pressures of city dwellers just as they may struggle to understand the tragedy of drought. Who’s here? What’s their background and how does it influence their behavior?

Try exploring the power in, “Who’s here?” It gets you out of the way so that you can truly see the person right in front of you for who they are. I’ll be curious to know how it works for you!